Most women are constantly preoccupied with their appearance, regardless of their stage of life. Acne during puberty. Then we start to be bothered by hair that becomes more stubborn with age and begins to grow in strange places. And our ‘big butt’ and years of food deprivation. Love handles, double chin, flabby arms, gray hair. Wrinkles. We always find something to worry about and try to ‘fit in’. It’s an interesting fact that 40-60% of the developed world wants to lose weight.

We ask ourselves: “Will our partner like us?” “Will everyone else around me like me?” “Am I dressed appropriately?” “Do I look fat in these pants?” And also: “Oh dear, what will others say if I wear this bold red shirt or perhaps put on striking lipstick?” “I really like this hat, but what will others say?”

Be you.

Others. We always look to others. But we forget the essence.

Do we like ourselves? Do we accept ourselves? Do we do things that make us happy and fulfilled? Do we take time for ourselves and those who mean the most to us? Or do we just procrastinate: I’ll do this, and then I’ll really visit my parents. Or meet up with friends. Or simply just sit in the sun and enjoy.

And even in pregnancy, this doesn’t change. Women worry about weight, double chins, swollen legs or arms. Let me tell you, most men believe that their partner is as attractive as ever, or even more so, during pregnancy. Like  Venus of Willendorf in the bloom of fertility.

Venus von Willendorf

And believe me, your complaining about gained weight will be much less appealing to him than your body changing through pregnancy. And it’s completely normal for your body to retain more water closer to childbirth, making you more ‘juicy’. This will last for some time after birth.

So, learn about the changes that await you in pregnancy. About pregnancy discomforts that are completely normal. I have tips for you on how to help yourself in certain situations and how to stay (safely) active during pregnancy. What you can do during pregnancy to feel good throughout this important period of life (Physiological changes in pregnancy, Daily activities…)

And when you give birth, some experience the “shock” of the postpartum period. “Why do I still have such a belly, as if I’m pregnant, even though I’ve given birth?”

Breathe in, hug your baby, look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful. That you have given life to a new being, that you have become a mother for the first, second, third, perhaps fourth or fifth time. That your body is wonderful and a true ‘machine’. And now it’s even capable of producing milk to feed your baby. And if all goes well, you might not need to add anything else for several months. Not even boiled water.

Do you still think your body isn’t wonderful?

And don’t look at social media, where life is often unrealistically portrayed. Where everything is embellished and filtered. Seek and gather realistic, professional, and relevant information. This will make your goals more accessible and your disappointments smaller.

The postpartum belly is one of the most beautiful states after childbirth, which eventually disappears, but in this narrow postpartum period, it can remind you: “Oh look. Just yesterday, my child, you were kicking in my belly, and today I already hold you in my arms.” Perhaps it will remind you of your baby’s first movements that you felt.

Although the British royal family is radical in many ways, we cannot ignore how much they support the work of midwives and, ultimately, how their ladies do not try to hide their postpartum belly after childbirth.

Okay, most won’t have such a perfect and fresh look, and styled hair immediately after birth. We also advise you to choose something more comfortable instead of tight jeans and high heels. Your feet might still be swollen. But we still want to show you something.

After the birth of her firstborn, Prince George, in 2013, we could admire Kate Middleton in a beautiful blue dress, which was certainly a very charming and appropriate choice for a radiant and overjoyed new mother.

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM – JULY 23: Prince William, Duke of Cambridge and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge with their newborn son speak to the media before departing the Lindo Wing of St Mary’s Hospital on July 23, 2013 in London, England. Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge yesterday gave birth to a boy at 16.24 BST and weighing 8lb 6oz, with Prince William, Duke of Cambridge at her side. The baby, as yet unnamed, is third in line to the throne and becomes the Prince of Cambridge. (Photo by Anwar Hussein/WireImage)

YES, most women envied her such shapely, non-swollen legs after childbirth :).

After the birth of her daughter Princess Charlotte in 2015, the dress was a little more serious. But still very cute. A white and yellow dress with flowers, where it was also visible that the postpartum belly was still present.

Kate Middleton after her second birth 2015

After the birth of Prince Louis in 2018. Definitely the boldest of all three. A femme fatale red dress, where the white collar adds tenderness and a touch of motherhood. But at the same time, the red color emphasizes this wonderful feminine power we have within us.

LONDON, ENGLAND – APRIL 23: Prince William, Duke of Cambridge and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge leave with their new born baby boy from the Lindo Wing, St Mary’s Hospital on April 23, 2018 in London, England. The Duchess of Cambridge gave birth to a boy at 11.01 BST, weighing 8lb 7oz. (Photo by Mark Cuthbert/UK Press via Getty Images)

A simple tunic or dress is certainly a good choice in the postpartum period, for leaving the maternity ward or for the first walk.

In 2019, we also saw another (at the time) royal member. Meghan Markle and her wonderful appearance after the birth of Prince Archie.

Meghan Markle after her first birth 2019

My first thought was: “Brave, a white dress! She must have good postpartum underwear so that the lochia doesn’t show through” 🙂 🙂 🙂

So you see, you can be of royal blood, with perfect makeup and outfit, and you will still have a (wonderful!) postpartum belly that you should not be ashamed of. Your face might still be swollen, you probably won’t be able to wear your favorite shoes, and your ring might not fit yet. But you will still be so wonderful.

And perhaps the thought occurs to you: “Why are they showing us all these refreshed new mothers now, that’s not realistic either.”

Regardless, both Kate and Meghan had to go through the postpartum period. And all its beauties and challenges. They also had postpartum lochia, and their bodies also needed time to return to their pre-pregnancy state. I received a message with this charming content:

And most of you probably recognize yourselves in the photo on the right, don’t you? And probably here:

Mom’s body one month postpartum – personal post on IG

Where the author @frau_hrenko speaks frankly and in her own style, saying that this is normal. That we should not be ashamed of it and that for 9 months your body was a home to this wonderful being that you hold (or will hold) in your arms.

After childbirth, some excess weight will likely remain for some time. Your body might still be ‘juicy’ and soft for a while. You might be left with some stretch marks. Or a little more cellulite. All of this will resolve itself. Don’t rush. You are still a queen and a superhero. To your partner and your child. Don’t forget the feminine power you carry within you. Don’t forget yourself.

You should know that the condition of your body before pregnancy, related to the weight gained during pregnancy, the stabilization of your core, pelvis, your posture, stance – that is, the condition of the transversus abdominis muscle – is also important for your “postpartum appearance”. The condition of the pelvic floor muscles is also important, so perform pelvic floor muscle (PFM) training so you know where these muscles are, what they are for, how to properly contract AND RELAX them! But more on this when we talk about physiological pregnancy; if you have problems, physiotherapists can also help you. Read more  “Effective Exercise in Pregnancy”.

And definitely do not buy postpartum girdles (only your physiotherapist will advise you on this!) or start intense exercise that includes jumping, running, sit-ups, planks… What you “must” train is the aforementioned deep abdominal muscle; that is your girdle! And PFMs. In general, it is necessary to maintain a healthy lifestyle – a balanced diet and movement. And caring for your baby, daily walks, all of this is activity.

And in the postpartum period, especially the first month, rest, cuddle, let yourself be pampered. The first month will probably be the most demanding, but also among the most beautiful. Don’t fill your schedule with thorough cleaning. Don’t start “preventive” radical diets, believing that your baby won’t get gas when you feed them your milk. Even after the first month, don’t overdo it with numerous activities for yourself to get back in shape, and for your child. Playtime can be had with you at home when you are rested and ready. And your fitness will wait a few months, but before that, caring for your baby will help you with it. Don’t forget to eat and drink well. Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Above all, give yourself time. Because your body needs it too.

Promise yourself that you will love yourself. Your child will also feel this, and it will also reflect positively on your partnership. Take care of a healthy lifestyle not only for yourself but for your entire family. If you succeed in this, you will also be able to enjoy this special time of your life. Because you will feel good. And everyone around you will feel it, especially your child, who is so sensitive to your well-being.

I will gladly help you with this. I have already prepared numerous resources that will prepare you and your partner for childbirth and postpartum challenges.

MOJA BABICA ® Prenatal classes / workshops for future parents

I can be with you throughout your pregnancy, and I will stay with you both after childbirth.

My Midwife – Nastja