During this year’s Advent season, a website appeared on Facebook where the “Advent” calendar had a real midwife vibe. Each day, a different birth story was posted—by a different woman, from a different place/country. And it felt right to collect them and share them on my own website too. Link to the FB page where the stories are published in their original form.
Our first Advent Birth Story 1 – Ireland
As a midwife I have had the privilege of being present at many births including homebirths. I longed for the home/water birth experience for myself but felt it was something I would never be able to experience. I was expecting my 3rd baby. I had an elective section for my 1st baby (breech) and a baby (born before arrival) on my second; so quite a checkered past! From 37wks I had on/off contractions and false starts!
Then Thursday 17th of December (40 +6) I woke up, brought the kids to school. My husband and I decided to go for something to eat. I felt one or 2 twinges in the restaurant, nothing new there. Arriving home, I kept busy, I felt some more twinges – but these were different, or just mind tricks! All the false starts had shaken my self-trust! Then at 19.00hrs I got a good strong one and said to my husband to put the boys to bed. My midwife was in England on a training course and not due back to Dublin until 20.00hrs. I contacted my second midwife 19.45hrs and told her although things have just started, I felt they are intensifying quickly and were now 4 mins apart. My second midwife was on her way and my other midwife would come straight from the airport.
After the call I had to get onto my hands and knees over my birthing ball, my husband got straight onto ‘pool duty’ and put ‘The National’ on for me to listen to, the only lights were that of the Christmas tree and he got some lavender burning, a purely magical scene. I thought ‘wow’ this is really it, welcomed each surge and felt so excited. Each one was manageable, I kept relaxed with breathing, imagining my baby boy moving down to me (practicing what I preach!).
The midwife arrived at 20.25hrs, so gentle and calm. I felt relieved to have her with us. Surges were 3 mins apart, intensifying and I could really feel him moving down. I got in to the pool. Oh my, was it absolute bliss! I just felt my body melt and it was exactly what I needed. My other midwife arrived at 20.50 and I just said to her “what good timing, I’ve been waiting for you!!” I obviously was waiting as I started experiencing expulsive contractions, wow were they powerful! I new I was so close as the girls were telling me but felt like I couldn’t take much more! Then he arrived at 21.03, born in the water and as his body came out I lifted him up in to my arms… oh the high, the joy, sheer elation, I will never forget. I truly felt like a warrior.
My husband kept me so focused, encouraging me, I felt so close to him. Our 2nd boy then woke up; he was just adorable as he peered in over the ledge of the pool like it was Christmas morning! I couldn’t believe it worked out so perfectly. I had two fantastic midwives who just allowed the whole process to go on undisturbed. They were true masters of the hands off approach. I admired and loved our shared trust in a mother’s own ability to birth.
* Vsa stališča ali mnenja, izražena v tej zgodbi, so izključno avtorjeva in ne predstavljajo nujno mnenj urednic: Deirdre, Ans, Jenny. Projekt Advent Birth Story ne more zagotoviti, da je to sporočilo ali katera koli priloga brez virusov ali da ni bilo prestreženo in/ali spremenjeno. Hvala.
Story 2. From USA to my 3rd birth in England
I did my Hypnobirthing exercises daily. I ended up overdue by 42 weeks and longed it out, avoiding appointments to be induced. I woke up with mild stomach cramps. My fiancé left for work and my son was being looked after by our lovely babysitter downstairs. I hung out on my own in my bedroom, eating lightly, drinking water, feeling chilled, in control.
I used the surge breathing and visualisation exercises. My fiancé came home and by 8pm the surges increased. We called the hospital and we decided to go in. I remember the car going over speed bumps.
After a consented exam the midwife said “wow you are 7cm!”. I really wanted a water birth and so I got in. The small problem with having a previous Caesarean is the continuous monitoring, it was interfering with my zen zone as they had to fiddle with the wireless adaptor around my belly.
A 2nd year midwifery student tracked my pregnancy as part of her studies and had been with me through numerous appointments where we had sat chatting about babies, birth and beyond while waiting for my appointments. I had text her earlier that day to let her know the labour had started. She brought some lovely led candles for me which just made the room ambient, I forgot I was in hospital!
Labour progressed, midwives continued to struggle with the monitor and asked me to get out of the birth pool so they could monitor my baby better. At 9cm the OB wanted to break my waters, I said “no let’s wait and see if they go naturally.” There was lots of activity with doctors and midwives which was distracting. I decided to get an epidural. My partner stepped out the room as he hates needles.
My befriended student midwife stepped in and winged it, helped me to stay focused and relaxed. She was amazing. My waters partially broke, there was meconium in them, then they lost baby’s heart rate, I remember the OB telling me they had to get baby out now and it would need to be a general anaesthetic.
I remember being calm and breathing. They rushed me to theatre and performed a crash caesarean. I woke up, my baby was next to me.
My student midwife dressed him in his little outfit I had carefully chosen a few days prior. The next few days were blurry but he and I were alive. Although I was quite poorly, I could not believe I had sailed through something pretty traumatic with a sense of empowerment.
Looking back, my baby’s birth wasn’t the option I would have chosen but it was the hand that nature dealt me. Hypnobirthing helped me. I always knew there was a chance of another C-Section. Hypnobirthing training enabled me to stay in that quiet place within us all where you really feel the strength of your spirit.
So many people helped, inspired and taught me. I wanted to thank: my partner and my love, my student midwife is now a final year midwifery student (probably the only woman who has and ever will see my Uterus)! Thanks to my hypnobirthing teacher, my 2 children who welcomed our new baby into our family and all the kind and caring midwives who are passionate about what they do.
I am still “learning to Dance in the Rain”, but am enjoying the journey!
* Vsa stališča ali mnenja, izražena v tej zgodbi, so izključno avtorjeva in ne predstavljajo nujno mnenj urednic: Deirdre, Ans, Jenny. Projekt Advent Birth Story ne more zagotoviti, da je to sporočilo ali katera koli priloga brez virusov ali da ni bilo prestreženo in/ali spremenjeno. Hvala.
Story 3. Ireland 1984
The 21st December 1984 was a long day despite being the shortest day of the year.
Long, because I spent most of it hiding the fact that I was in labour, a long slow labour which suited me fine because I was preparing for Christmas. Our first as a married couple and as parents.
It was my mother-in-law who twigged that I was in labour and my then hubby and I were sent to the GP for confirmation. Strangely enough, I wasn’t worried or nervous.
I was 20 years old and very naive looking back now.
I should have made my hubby come to the maternity hospital with me. But I was ok, when he had to stay at work and his mammy came with me. I was shown the pre-labour room but I couldn’t settle to lie on a bed as the pains came stronger. I must have done enough walking to have walked the length and breadth of Ireland. But suddenly I met the ‘BOSS’ and she made me stay on the bed once I was transferred to the labour ward. Labour was eventful and a whole new ball game for me.
I was bursting to push but warned not to. I was told to be a good girl while I was checked and rechecked like the Christmas dinner which I was determined to be home for. The baby wanted to come but wasn’t coming, so like Santa Claus, the doctor appeared all dressed up in his festive finery. From that moment the air in the room was electric with motion. My baby was coming with help from him and the midwives.
The last time I was in stirrups was as a child riding my friend’s pony. Despite the pain, all I could do was grin. Everyone moved so fast: it was like the movies, lights, camera, action. But instead, the words were ‘forceps’, ‘suction’ and ‘PUSH’. I pushed and pushed as I felt life leave me.
My firstborn was swung around to me by the doctor who grinned while saying “It’s a little lady”. The little lady made her presence heard by crying until she was put to my breast. The midwives were awesome and helped me get used to motherhood but insisted Christmas Eve was way too early for me to leave. But I wanted us to be a proper family celebrating our first Christmas together so I wore the lovely ladies down. Christmas 1984 was celebrated at home and Santa brought a doll to our new arrival.
Thanks for giving me the great opportunity to share my birth experience.
* Vsa stališča ali mnenja, izražena v tej zgodbi, so izključno avtorjeva in ne predstavljajo nujno mnenj urednic: Deirdre, Ans, Jenny. Projekt Advent Birth Story ne more zagotoviti, da je to sporočilo ali katera koli priloga brez virusov ali da ni bilo prestreženo in/ali spremenjeno. Hvala.
Day 4 – our fourth heartwarming Advent Birth Story comes from Switzerland #Adventbirthstory
My first contraction I felt one morning just before I had a pregnancy check-up with the midwife. I mentioned that we might see each other soon. My husband came to pick me up at the midwife’s birth centre and together we rode on our bicycles up to the “house” -mountain of city. I strolled up this mountain, while my husband was riding on his bicycle beside me. Sometimes I had to stop and breathe a bit into my belly. The whole climb I had to do this maybe about seven times.
At the top we met a friend. Together we ate together a bratwurst, enjoyed the sun and the view, and talked about searching an apartment in the city, and much more. In the meantime, I was forced to be silent in order to be able to concentrate on breathing in and out. After being there for a while, I wanted to descend again. My husband drove down-hill, while our girlfriend and I went down by foot. Down below I realized that it was going to be serious. We called the midwife and rolled the bikes directly from the mountain to the birth centre. During the contractions I had to stop and bend over the steering wheel. In one of these steering wheel breaks, a woman passed by on bike and stopped. My husband thought, “What does she want?”.
But it was our midwife, and thus we rode on with the three of us.
Having arrived at the birth centre, the midwife made the suggestion to go to the bathtub rather quickly, perhaps also because I carried some of the smell of the mountain. In the tub, I kind of lost my perception of what went on. I can only remember that the contractions were so strong that I only screamed, or rather roared. Who invented to cope with this by breathing? The midwife tried to get me down with some homeopathic medicine and Bach rescue drops, but the pains were not waves anymore, but they were more like tsunamis, and then those of the very nasty sort. So I got myself through screaming from contraction to contraction.
The tub was my safe cage, I was the wild tiger.
My husband, who was still in his biking clothes and the midwife were sitting there, both were quite calm. They just let me do it. When I thought for the first time, “So, and now it’s enough!”
I also felt a very distinct need to push.
The need to push was confirmed with the next contraction. The midwife then thought that I had to come out of the tub, as I would need ground under my feet. Even though she was right, I climbed out of the tub grumbling. I knelt on a mat, felt how with every contraction the little one was slowly on his way down.
Very few contractions later I felt the head being born. And another contraction later the little one came into the world with intact membranes and the umbilical cord around him. A little later, the midwife gave me the little one, who had a slightly blue color, between my legs. I looked at him from head to toe. Thought, it looked quite funny and sympathetic. It was all very quiet around me. There he was. Incredible!
Welcome, little man! It’s wonderful to have you with us.
Day 4 – our fourth heartwarming Advent Birth Story comes from Switzerland #Adventbirthstory
My first contraction I felt one morning just before I had a pregnancy check-up with the midwife. I mentioned that we might see each other soon. My husband came to pick me up at the midwife’s birth centre and together we rode on our bicycles up to the “house” -mountain of city. I strolled up this mountain, while my husband was riding on his bicycle beside me. Sometimes I had to stop and breathe a bit into my belly. The whole climb I had to do this maybe about seven times.
At the top we met a friend. Together we ate together a bratwurst, enjoyed the sun and the view, and talked about searching an apartment in the city, and much more. In the meantime, I was forced to be silent in order to be able to concentrate on breathing in and out. After being there for a while, I wanted to descend again. My husband drove down-hill, while our girlfriend and I went down by foot. Down below I realized that it was going to be serious. We called the midwife and rolled the bikes directly from the mountain to the birth centre. During the contractions I had to stop and bend over the steering wheel. In one of these steering wheel breaks, a woman passed by on bike and stopped. My husband thought, “What does she want?”.
But it was our midwife, and thus we rode on with the three of us.
Having arrived at the birth centre, the midwife made the suggestion to go to the bathtub rather quickly, perhaps also because I carried some of the smell of the mountain. In the tub, I kind of lost my perception of what went on. I can only remember that the contractions were so strong that I only screamed, or rather roared. Who invented to cope with this by breathing? The midwife tried to get me down with some homeopathic medicine and Bach rescue drops, but the pains were not waves anymore, but they were more like tsunamis, and then those of the very nasty sort. So I got myself through screaming from contraction to contraction.
The tub was my safe cage, I was the wild tiger.
My husband, who was still in his biking clothes and the midwife were sitting there, both were quite calm. They just let me do it. When I thought for the first time, “So, and now it’s enough!”
I also felt a very distinct need to push.
The need to push was confirmed with the next contraction. The midwife then thought that I had to come out of the tub, as I would need ground under my feet. Even though she was right, I climbed out of the tub grumbling. I knelt on a mat, felt how with every contraction the little one was slowly on his way down.
Very few contractions later I felt the head being born. And another contraction later the little one came into the world with intact membranes and the umbilical cord around him. A little later, the midwife gave me the little one, who had a slightly blue color, between my legs. I looked at him from head to toe. Thought, it looked quite funny and sympathetic. It was all very quiet around me. There he was. Incredible!
Welcome, little man! It’s wonderful to have you with us.
Story 5. Dad’s homebirth story – England. #adventbirthstory
On March 11th 2008, my wife was pretty busy. About two weeks later than expected, she was giving birth to our son at home with two midwives caring for her and me hanging on for dear life. We (i.e. my wife) had decided on a homebirth because her experience of hospital birth hadn’t been all that positive because of demoralised staff, there being nowhere near enough of them. We rented a “birthing pool” in which our elder son learned to swim. The emptying and filling had given me something to do. I think I should hold some sort of record for draining-cleaning-filling-warming of birthing pools.
And so it came to pass, our beautiful baby was born in our kitchen. It was with relief and joy (but mostly relief), we saw our baby. My wife was magnificent and all was pretty good – I know it is easy for me to say. It was a bit messy but yes, there he was.
And then all of a sudden, I noticed he was turning blue and didn’t seem to be breathing. Some years previously we had had the terrible experience of seeing our first baby die and so I cannot explain the feeling of seeing our new baby look so ill. Surely not again? At this point, our midwife took charge: laid our baby out straight, put his arms by his side and I really honestly don’t remember what else she did. I do clearly remember that she was calm, decisive and focussed. We knew this was serious but that she was in charge, competent and dealing with the situation. Within moments, he started breathing and the blueness disappeared. And today he is a delightful, robust, funny, clever, beautiful 8 year old.
And so to my thesis. We thanked our midwife for this as well we might. At least I hope we did. But why we didn’t make more of a fuss of her and praise her to all and sundry I do not know. We kept in touch for a while, but time passes and she has moved on to carry out research that will help other midwives and women giving birth. Over the years, she has helped so many women and I am quite sure it was always with the same calm, assured professionalism. Along the way, I have no idea how many lives she has saved but she will have done so many times. How many of us can say that? But that night, she saved more than our baby’s life. We frankly owe her absolutely everything.
I am guessing she would say that she was just doing her job – and to a certain extent that may be true. We needed her there to help my wife and to be there in case of emergency. Which is what she did. I imagine she would say that any midwife would do the same.
Birth Story 6 – Germany
My story is one of serenity. The day before my due date my husband had a tennis ball hit his ear and it had snowed. Our streets were glittering white under the glorious winter sun when I walked to have a pregnancy massage.
I thought, this would be a wonderful day to be born!
Unfortunately, in the afternoon my mom called me to say that she had admitted my 90-year-old grandfather to hospital because of his worsening heart condition. What a sad turn of feelings!
The next morning, I felt some contractions but I still went with my husband (off sick due to a noise trauma in his ear) to meet my sister for brunch. She hadn’t known about my granddad yet and we were trying to console each other. As we finally returned home, I felt like I was really going into labour. I ran a bath while my husband had to do some work calls. It was definitely going to start that highly anticipated moment of giving birth!
I lit a scented candle, heated up my thermo and started breathing with the labour which suddenly came in one-minute gaps. I just about managed to call my midwife to tell her that our appointment today would be a long one. When my husband came out of his call he decided to have her come immediately. I was already in that delirious state of not caring much about my surroundings. After about 6 hours, a pot of honey and many repetitions of Buena Vista Social Club our beautiful daughter was born!
We went to bed exhausted, happy and a bit nervous about the first few hours alone with the baby. Our midwife came back every morning and evening for the next three days to help me with the breastfeeding. Once she even tried to fix my husband’s ear trauma with osteopathy. He of course had gotten worse with me screaming into his ear when he was holding me during the birth. Despite many struggles, some fever, tears and the news that my granddad would not live into next week, I have never felt so loved, cared for and genuinely happy as during these magical first few weeks. Even now when I think of it, I am overcome by this tender feeling of serenity. I cannot even express the gratitude and admiration I have for the midwives who are facing a lot of difficulties in my country. I hope my daughter will still be able to enjoy such good care when she has children one day!
* Vsa stališča ali mnenja, izražena v tej zgodbi, so izključno avtorjeva in ne predstavljajo nujno mnenj urednic: Deirdre, Ans, Jenny. Projekt Advent Birth Story ne more zagotoviti, da je to sporočilo ali katera koli priloga brez virusov ali da ni bilo prestreženo in/ali spremenjeno. Hvala.
Birth Story 7 – A Legal High in Ireland (Circa 1990)
High as a kite from surviving the drive on the road, filled with potholes, navigating the bends at ‘Who Knows Where’…
I argued my point with the security man who kept telling me to calm down. He was full of wisdom of first babies arriving hours after mammy presenting at the hospital, but his face and actions changed when I roared
‘baby is coming and it’s my 4th’.
I was bundled into the lift and straight to the labour ward.
I got even higher on the lovely gas I was given because I refused medication (after being brought up by a woman who floated on the stuff for depression).
At one stage I thought the cry from another baby was mine…
but no such luck. I never really put much thought into how midwives were trained until after the birth.
A trainee midwife helped me give birth, but I was asked first if I would mind another nurse joined the birth. In the throes of childbirth, I didn’t care who came and I didn’t recognise the name. But when she arrived I did recognise my old classmate from national school. She was willing to leave if I was uncomfortable having her there but sure it was fine.
I was on my legal high and she was with me when my son was born.
* Vsa stališča ali mnenja, izražena v tej zgodbi, so izključno avtorjeva in ne predstavljajo nujno mnenj urednic: Deirdre, Ans, Jenny. Projekt Advent Birth Story ne more zagotoviti, da je to sporočilo ali katera koli priloga brez virusov ali da ni bilo prestreženo in/ali spremenjeno. Hvala.
Birth Story 8 – Working with a Midwife in the USA
Picture the scene: a mother, exhausted more than she knew possible, reaches down to take her baby from the surgeon she was determined never to meet. Tears and camera flashes from her family members who surround her at the head of the bed, as a proud mother becomes a proud grandmother.
Two weeks before, visiting her midwife in the front room of her home in a suburb of Atlanta, explained to me why she had chosen a different path from the regular Georgian mother. In the state of Georgia, to see anyone other than a hospital obstetrician during your pregnancy, birth and postnatal period was considered out of the ordinary, ‘hippy’, even unclean. Any midwife with a CPM qualification (Certified Professional Midwife) was technically acting illegally in the eyes of the state government, and disgustingly in the eyes of it’s population. Through personal sacrifice and outstanding belief in normal birth however, CPMs ran small home practises throughout the area by jumping loopholes in the law. It was in one of these practises where this woman (a registered nurse) had chosen to have her baby.
‘I don’t think you understand. At my local hospital, they have up to a 70% induction rate, and a 50% c-section rate. I don’t want that. I know that my body can do this. I know it can, and it will do it better at home. Women have been doing this for millions of years. I can do this.’ She had told me intently. A well-rehearsed speech that she must have told everyone who had questioned her choice of birth, including her apprehensive looking mother in the corner. There was no denying that this was a well-informed woman. She could quote statistics from all over the world to support her arguments for a normal home birth. And that was what she was going to have. No ifs, no buts. Her strength of mind was admirable; however, anything but that would have been a failure in her eyes. ‘I can do this. And I will.’ Were her parting words to me as she left her last antenatal appointment at 41 weeks pregnant.
So this is why, as I watched this woman take her baby from the surgeon, after 30 hours of long, hard, labour with little progress, I held my breath. A day and a night of fierce determination, of following her birth plan to the letter, of inspirational strength until the very end. Of regular examinations, of changing positions, of sighs and encouragement and eventually an unhappy baby. All amounted to this. The very last thing that she had wanted.
As I finally let go of my breath, I looked to her and her new baby girl, ready to comfort the heartbreak and the disappointment of not achieving her goals.
Heart-breaking smiles. Goals achieved. Pride in her eyes. ‘I did it.’
I learned a lot that day.
3rd Year Student – England University
Birth Story 9 – Spain
Hello, my name is … I am a midwife …
Even today, after 21 years of work, and even if it sounds unbelievable, I still feel excited about every birth, and I’m grateful to the parents who share them with us. With them and through them I learned what I know about obstetrics, breastfeeding, postpartum care, connections … I am also a mother; and it was thanks to entering this profession that I saw it was possible—that I am also flesh and blood and could be a mum …
And so I got to have 3 children, each one more special: with the first, in the delivery room I said to the father ‘not born because it has no name … and we gave a name. The birth of the second was very fast—since I arrived at the hospital until the baby was born, only an hour! I kept saying: I can’t … I can’t … and today, a teenager, I hear you say I can’t, and of course I listen so much …
And the third: an easy birth, with anesthesia, a perfectly sized girl, neither too big nor too small, surrounded and cared for by people who love us …
And that day was, for us, the starting point … from birth to another kind of life we hadn’t counted on … With our baby, the family was “born” into another unknown reality. At six months we started a journey that leads to today … they diagnosed a generalized developmental disorder …
We were born into a reality different from what the social context considered normal, and at that time it didn’t have enough tools to help us live with joy day by day. We were born into a context of sadness, of unrecognized anger, which, without being conscious, clouded the joys of everyday life.
We were born into schools with good intentions, and with little experience in these subjects, and in the behavior problems that are sometimes associated because they don’t understand. We were born into a health system that could not give us answers, tools or strategies.
Good or bad, who knows? … And we begin to grow in parallel worlds, getting to know different realities, also normal, but that do not identify themselves as such.
… And again, every day we are born and celebrate progress. Learning to be grateful for what we have, for day-to-day life; for the people who, day by day, help society be born into a new way of looking at (dis)abilities. To give thanks because they are born and grow close to our professionals who accompany us, share information, tools and strategies with those around them, so that the reality of many becomes easier day by day.
And every day a situation is born to celebrate—a smile, progress, a talent, an opportunity.
And LOVE breaks through and is reborn in hearts that once forgot to be grateful for life.
Thank you!
* Vsa stališča ali mnenja, izražena v tej zgodbi, so izključno avtorjeva in ne predstavljajo nujno mnenj urednic: Deirdre, Ans, Jenny. Projekt Advent Birth Story ne more zagotoviti, da je to sporočilo ali katera koli priloga brez virusov ali da ni bilo prestreženo in/ali spremenjeno. Hvala.
Birth Story 10 – Uganda
…. And one of the trainings was training about preeclampsia and eclampsia. So since then, and I have been here many years, and seen many mothers (..). But, because they had a lot of beliefs and misunderstandings about this condition of eclampsia.
This training helped me and I gained confidence that one time when I was on duty and they tried to say I was demanded. I phoned that there was one, who was bleeding from the mouth, and the legs were solid. And I had to take over, and I examined the mother, and I found that she had a high blood pressure; of 180 over 140. So, they give us, from having convulsions from home, but they did not understand it. So when I checked her… I found I recognised the condition, as eclampsia.
And before I was trained, I would wait for the doctor to come and administer drugs. But this training helped me that I could not wait for the doctor, so I phoned him, I started. I commenced the IV line. I gave lots of magnesium sulfate as for every day as I learned…
Then I continued preparing the mother, and explaining to the relatives. They were confused, they did not believe that this condition is treatable in the hospital. They thought that yes, come, let’s take her to the hospital, but did not know about that condition the mother had.
So today, now I am an expert. Then I phoned the doctor and the doctors also responded. Then they took the mother for having a primary caesarean section. And after that, the mother was able to get the baby, and we continued the management on her. Continued the medicine dose; the magnesium sulfate for another 24 hours.
And I felt so confident when the doctor came, and also recognised the same symptoms as I had recognised. I was really happy that I was trained, in this many ways. Classifying and recognising preeclampsia and eclampsia.
I thank the people who trained us, and those who sponsored our training, and the doctors too, for identifying the midwives to be trained. I am so grateful, and I truly feel happy because I am also mentoring my fellow midwives.
These days in the labour suite, you look after the mother, you work for the doctor, and what is possible for the mother as the doctor comes.
I am so grateful for this training.
* Vsa stališča ali mnenja, izražena v tej zgodbi, so izključno avtorjeva in ne predstavljajo nujno mnenj urednic: Deirdre, Ans, Jenny. Projekt Advent Birth Story ne more zagotoviti, da je to sporočilo ali katera koli priloga brez virusov ali da ni bilo prestreženo in/ali spremenjeno. Hvala.
Birth Story 11 – Lebanon
Pozdravljeni, sem babica in delam v porodnem centru za begunce v okviru nevladne organizacije.
Z vami bi rada delila resnično zgodbo, ki sem jo doživela med svojo vsakodnevno dolžnostjo in mi je zlomila srce. Zgodbo o otroški mami, stari komaj 12 let, ki se je s solzami v očeh soočala z bolečino popadkov ter se bala bolečine ob porodu in vaginalnem pregledu. Ko sem jo prvič pregledala, me je s svojim prestrašenim, nedolžnim glasom prosila: »Teta, prosim, ne me boleti.« Ganila me je do srca … Porodila bom otroka otroški materi! Takrat sem začela svojo psihološko vlogo babice, ki ohranja mamo mirno in ji pomaga sprejeti porodno bolečino; poskušala sem ji pomagati pri sproščanju in z njo globoko dihala. Povedala sem ji, da je istih let kot moja hči in da bom poskrbela zanjo. Čez nekaj časa mi je začela pripovedovati svojo tragično zgodbo; v odnos jo je prisilil 24-letni moški, bila je izpostavljena številnemu družinskemu nasilju in žaljivkam, celo s strani moževih staršev, kjer si je želela umreti, da bi se rešila te bede, dokler ni pobegnila na dom svoje matere.
Povedala mi je toliko zgodb; mož ji je v usta tlačil čevlje in jo med nosečnostjo močno tepel, dokler njen plod ni umrl … Napotila sem jo k specialistu za duševno zdravje v našem centru, da bi mi pomagal pri njeni psihološki podpori med porodom. Nato mi je mala žrtev zaupala in mi pustila opraviti vse potrebne posege za porod. Po vsem trudu sem jo uspešno sprostila in opravila svoje poslanstvo – rodila je mrtvega dojenčka.
Šokiralo me je dejstvo, da je bila hvaležna, ker je njen plod mrtev. Povedala mi je, da želi živeti svoje »OTROŠTVO« in ne »MATERINSTVA«, da želi opravljati šolske obveznosti in se izobraževati, namesto materinskih dolžnosti. Nato sem ji razložila pomen načrtovanja družine čim prej, da bi preprečili kakršno koli neželeno ali zgodnjo nosečnost, vsaj v njenih rosnih letih. Spodbudila sem jo k obiskovanju šole in ji razložila otrokove pravice.
Najbolj pa me je ganilo, ko mi je med porodom namenila nekaj razumljivih besed; podpornica za duševno zdravje mi je kasneje povedala, da je nedolžen otrok rekel: »Želim si, da bi bila ti moja mama.«
Prosim, mame, prosim, očetje, prosim, vsi, svet lahko spremenite tudi posredno; naši otroci so blagoslov od Boga. Bodite pozorni in preprečite kakršno koli obliko zlorabe otrok.
* Vsa stališča ali mnenja, izražena v tej zgodbi, so izključno avtorjeva in ne predstavljajo nujno mnenj urednic: Deirdre, Ans, Jenny. Projekt Advent Birth Story ne more zagotoviti, da je to sporočilo ali katera koli priloga brez virusov ali da ni bilo prestreženo in/ali spremenjeno. Hvala.
Porodna zgodba 12 – Udobje poroda doma z rakom
Imela sem veliko srečo, da sem imela s tretjim otrokom zelo nezahtevno in nekomplicirano nosečnost. Na žalost so mi v 26. tednu diagnosticirali invazivni duktalni karcinom na dveh mestih v desni dojki.
Čeprav je moja nosečnost ostala nekomplicirana, sem nato padla v vrtiljak čustev in bolnišničnih pregledov. V 32. tednu sem imela mastektomijo. Patologija je pokazala, da sem imela dejansko 4 tumorje in ne prvotno mislečih 2, začetek kemoterapije pa sem imela načrtovan teden dni po rojstvu otroka. Imeti raka je »služba« za polni delovni čas. Na začetku sem imela v povprečju vsaj tri bolnišnične preglede na teden. Vse, kar sem si želela, je bilo preživljati čas s svojo družino. Nihče od zdravstvenih delavcev, ki sem jih srečala, se prej ni zares ukvarjal z nosečnico z rakom, z izjemo ginekologa. Velikokrat so navajali frazo »1 na 2000 nosečnosti«.
Tako je porod doma postal vse bolj pomemben zame in za mojega moža. Nisem želela razlagati, zakaj ne bom dojila. Nisem želela biti v bližini drugih »normalnih« mam, ko sem bila v tako občutljivem čustvenem stanju. Iskreno povedano, imela sva dovolj bolnišnic. Predvsem pa nisva želela, da bi rak zaznamoval rojstvo najinega otroka. Imela sva srečo, da se je najina čudovita deklica rodila doma brez zapletov. To je bil veliko bolj čustven čas kot moja prejšnja dva poroda zaradi vsega, kar smo prestali. Skrb, ali bo najin dojenček preživel mojo splošno anestezijo, in seveda, ko sem v naročju držala najino čudovito deklico, sem se močno zavedala lastne minljivosti. Bilo je toliko lepše in prijetneje biti v svoji postelji z možem in drugimi otroki ter negovati ta neverjetno zaseben, čustven družinski trenutek. Doma smo lahko odkrito jokali. Druga prednost poroda doma pa je, da si lahko takoj po njem privoščiš sendvič s slanino v postelji!!!
Kmalu po porodu sem prek svoje babice, ko sem bila v 36. tednu nosečnosti, izvedela za Mummy’s Star, dobrodelno organizacijo, posvečeno ženskam in njihovim družinam, ki jih je rak prizadel med nosečnostjo. Takrat sem spoznala, da nisem sama. Bile so tudi druge družine, ki so preživljale podobne čase kot mi. Že to samo po sebi je bila velika podpora.
* Vsa stališča ali mnenja, izražena v tej zgodbi, so izključno avtorjeva in ne predstavljajo nujno mnenj urednic: Deirdre, Ans, Jenny. Projekt Advent Birth Story ne more zagotoviti, da je to sporočilo ali katera koli priloga brez virusov ali da ni bilo prestreženo in/ali spremenjeno. Hvala.
Porodna zgodba 13 – Španija in babice
To ni zgodba o porodu; to je zgodba o dveh spremstvih. Ko so moje spremljevalke, moje učiteljice in hkrati moje babice sprejele moje hčerke.
Ena je bila babica, ki ženski pove, da ni dovolj odprta, da bi ostala v bolnišnici, a je bila tudi babica, ki je bila vesela, ko jo je štiri ure kasneje lahko sprejela.
Druga je bila babica, ki je z zabavnim nasmehom pomagala možu. Pokazal ji je spodnjice s široko odprtimi očmi, ona pa je rekla: »To je čep sluzi.«
Babica, ki je spoštovala dojenčka in tisti tako edinstven trenutek, da ga ni ločila od matere. Samo nasmehnila se je in rekla: »Popolna je.«
Druga babica, ki je bila presenečena, kako hitro poteka drugi porod, in je bila vesela, da je lahko bila zraven, ko se je dojenček rodil.
In še ena babica, ki je pogledala v oči izčrpani ženski in ji rekla, da je čas za pritiskanje, tudi če peče.
Vsi ti detajli so del dveh najlepših zgodb mojega življenja. Babice so vsak dan del najlepše zgodbe v življenju ženske; ona si bo zapomnila te podrobnosti in se spominjala svoje babice.
Naj bodo njeni spomini čim lepši, tako kot so poskrbele moje babice.
* Vsa stališča ali mnenja, izražena v tej zgodbi, so izključno avtorjeva in ne predstavljajo nujno mnenj urednic: Deirdre, Ans, Jenny. Projekt Advent Birth Story ne more zagotoviti, da je to sporočilo ali katera koli priloga brez virusov ali da ni bilo prestreženo in/ali spremenjeno. Hvala.
Porodna zgodba 14 – Zgodba avstralske babice
Včeraj sem na Facebooku videla objavo ženske, s katero so me seznanili pred osemnajstimi leti.
Takrat mi je topla in čudovita socialna delavka rekla, da lahko nekaj spremenimo, in tako smo začeli s tečajem za mlade mame (14–22 let) ter sproti iskali svojo pot. V majhni sobi v bolnišnici, kar je bilo prvič za naše mestece v NSW, smo se učili, kako zagotoviti potrebno storitev za tiste mlade ženske s pogosto kaotičnim življenjskim slogom in včasih malo podpore.
Zelo zgodaj sem jo spoznala in vsa ta leta kasneje jo štejem za drago prijateljico in mentorico pri verovanju vase. Pri 20 letih je imela velike jasne oči in drobno postavo, res je majhna, nagajivo živahna, a hkrati mlada ženska, katere prejšnji porod je bil mučen, dolgotrajen in s travmatičnim carskim rezom po neuspešnem porodu s kleščami pri šestnajstih letih.
Na srečo se je otresla svojega prejšnjega nasilnega partnerja in našla ljubezen s svojim zaročencem, toda zdaj, ko je bila ponovno noseča, jo je strah pred prejšnjim porodom ohromil, datum načrtovanega naslednjega carskega reza pa se je bližal. Tega novega dojenčka je morala pozdraviti z veseljem, ne s strahom, in ali ji lahko pomagam?
Pred tistim dnem sva imeli le eno srečanje, a sva si vzeli čas, se odločili za najpomembnejše izbire in načrtovali, kako bo potekalo. Kot njena babica ne bi zapustila njene strani, njen moški bi bil tam, predvajali bi glasbo, ki sta jo izbrala, ko bi njen dojenček zapustil maternico, in vključili bi jo v vse, kar je zamudila prej pri hitri nujni splošni anesteziji.
Porod je potekal dobro, prav tako naslednji leto kasneje in še tisti za njim. Toda med temi porodi, poroko in študijem je postala družinska svetovalka. Zagovornica mladih mam; smejali sva se in si bili v oporo, ko sva podpirali številne neverjetne in čudovite mlade mame, od katerih mnoge danes štejem za prijateljice. Od takrat je končala fakulteto, njen moški jo je pustil na cedilu, njen zakon se je končal in odselila se je, toda njeni čudoviti otroci obožujejo svojo mamo. In kaj sem prebrala na Facebooku?
Zapisala je: »Moj bog, mislim, da živim z naslednjim Einsteinom! Čestitke za ves tvoj neverjeten trud! Ponosna nate!! To res proslavljam!« 
»1. mesto iz inženirstva, 1. iz fizike, 1. iz načrtovanja programske opreme, 1. iz matematike, 2. iz kemije, 2. iz višje matematike, nagrada Fakultete za znanost in informacijsko tehnologijo za leto 2016, nagrada Fakultete za matematiko za izjemne dosežke, nagrada ravnatelja kolidža za odličnost v pripravljalnem letniku. In veliko srce!«
Zato sem napisala: »Kot njegova čudovita mama – a se strinjam, da je tudi sam po sebi izjemen moški – čestitke vsem xxx«
Napisala je: »O, hvala, draga!! In kot njegova čudovita babica 
☺ Xxx«
Od navdušenja sem se morala nasmejati. Kako blagoslovljeni smo, da smo lahko del življenj tako posebnih ljudi!
* Vsa stališča ali mnenja, izražena v tej zgodbi, so izključno avtorjeva in ne predstavljajo nujno mnenj urednic: Deirdre, Ans, Jenny. Projekt Advent Birth Story ne more zagotoviti, da je to sporočilo ali katera koli priloga brez virusov ali da ni bilo prestreženo in/ali spremenjeno. Hvala.
Porodna zgodba 15 – Novorojenček reši materino življenje (Južna Afrika)
V Južni Afriki imamo danes grozljive številke, ki kažejo na stopnjo umrljivosti mater in plodov; to se lahko zgodi tako hitro in pri porodu sta na kocki ne eno, ampak dve življenji. Danes vam želim povedati, kako močnega lahko otrok naredi starša, kako močnega lahko dojenček naredi mater v težkih časih. Med usposabljanjem za poklicno babico sem imela privilegij delati v zelo podeželski kliniki, kjer je v našem mestu ostalo le še nekaj mest, kamor lahko sprejmejo državne paciente med porodom.
Ko sem bila zaposlena z imunizacijami in odpusti, je bilo na oddelek toliko hrupa, da sem šla ven, da bi jih pomirila, ne vedoč, da bo to, v kar bom stopila, za vedno spremenilo moje življenje.
Tam je bila – neodzivna, mrzla in potna – ženska, ki je pravkar prvič postala mama in se borila, da njen otrok ne bi ostal sirota. Očitno je poklicala rešilca in prišli so, ko je bila odprta 8 cm; že takrat, ko klinika še ni bila niti blizu, je začela pritiskati in v 3. porodni dobi omedlela. Njen dojenček je bil na njej, koža na kožo, saj to vzpostavi neposredno vez in odnos med materjo in otrokom ter preprečuje podhlajenje.
Ko so se približevali kliniki, je ta mati aktivno krvavela, vonj po železu in nujnost situacije sta bila premočna; takoj ko smo ji vzeli dojenčka, da bi ga položili na ogrevano posteljico, je izgubila zavest. Jaz in še dve študentki babice smo tekale naokoli in iskale pomoč, naše nadzornice pa so bile na odmoru za čaj. In nenadoma je bilo, kot bi Bog poslal angela.
Moja predavateljica/mentorica je stopila skozi vrata in ko nam je videla obraze, je takoj vedela, da so težave. Morala je opraviti bimanualno kompresijo maternice. Kri je še vedno lila; na njeno prošnjo smo morale ponovno pregledati posteljico in videle, da manjkajo kosi, kar pomeni, da so v maternici ostali deli, kar je ekipa v rešilcu spregledala. Po aplikaciji zdravil in kisika smo žensko pripravili za nujni prevoz v terciarno bolnišnico, kjer bi jo oskrbeli.
Neverjetno pri celotnem postopku in vsem, kar smo počeli, je bilo to, da je ostala nezavestna vse do trenutka, ko smo nanjo položili njenega dojenčka; takoj se je odzvala, kot bi vedela za svojo odgovornost in da se mora boriti za nekaj večjega od sebe. Ta dva sta drug drugega ohranjala pri življenju in v tistem trenutku sem spoznala to, kar pravi Agatha Christie: »Materina ljubezen do otroka ni podobna ničemur drugemu na svetu, ne pozna zakonov, ne usmiljenja, upa si vse in neusmiljeno zmečka vse, kar ji stoji na poti« – da, povem vam, celo smrt!
Oba sta dokazala, da se znanost moti, in preživela s pomočjo moči brezpogojne ljubezni.
Praznične pozdrave, babica iz JA.
* Vsa stališča ali mnenja, izražena v tej zgodbi, so izključno avtorjeva in ne predstavljajo nujno mnenj urednic: Deirdre, Ans, Jenny. Projekt Advent Birth Story ne more zagotoviti, da je to sporočilo ali katera koli priloga brez virusov ali da ni bilo prestreženo in/ali spremenjeno. Hvala.
Porodna zgodba 16 – Nepričakovan porod doma v medenični vstavi
Februarja, teden dni pred rokom, sem se ob dveh zjutraj nenadoma zbudila in skočila iz postelje; voda mi je takoj odtekla in se polila po tleh. Zbudila sem moža, ki je še spal. Vprašal me je, če sem prepričana, da se nisem samo polulala. Poklicala sem svojo samostojno babico, da jo obvestim.
Odločila se je, da pride takoj in pregleda dojenčka. Začela sem dobivati valove menstrualnih bolečin. Moja babica je predlagala, naj poskusim malo zaspati in da se vrne kasneje zjutraj. Odšla je, mož pa je zaspal. Jaz nisem mogla spati, bolečina je bila hujša, ko sem ležala. Popadke sem predihavala pod tušem in na postelji.
Po nekaj urah je mož babici poslal sporočilo, da so popadki močnejši in boleči. K nam domov je prišla okoli 7. ure zjutraj. Kmalu sem šla v bazen, kar je bilo čudovito; popadke sem predihavala na kolenih, naslonjena na rob bazena, mož in babica pa sta mi nudila protipritisk na spodnji del hrbta. Obvestili smo moje podporne osebe, da rojevam; ena prijateljica je prispela kmalu zatem. V nekem trenutku so bolečine postale drugačne in močnejše, čutila sem, kako moje telo ob vsakem popadku malo pritisne.
Nenadoma sem začutila, da se je dojenčkova glava spustila zelo nizko, in občutek tiščanja je postal neustavljiv. Popolnoma so me prevzeli občutki, ko je moja babica rekla: »Mislim, da je dojenček v medenični vstavi!« Dojenček se je pokakal naravnost v bazen.
Dojenček je začel prihajati ven, najprej ritka z nogami ob trupu. Z vsakim popadkom je prišlo malo več dojenčka, sprostila se je ena noga za drugo, nato ena roka, druga roka pa je bila ovita okoli vratu, nisem mogla potisniti mimo nje.
Babica me je prosila, naj vstanem; vstala sem in pomagala je pri porodu roke. Ko je manjkala le še glava, sem še zadnjič močno pritisnila in najin dojenček je bil zunaj. Stopila sem iz bazena, medtem ko je babica usmerjala dojenčka, in sedli smo na tla.
Predali so mi jo – sivo, ohlapno, brez dihanja in čudovito. Takoj je bila podobna očetu. Podrgnila sem jo po hrbtu, ji pihnila v obraz in se pogovarjala z njo. Nekaj je zagrgrala. Svoja usta sem položila čez njena usta in nos ter rahlo pihnila; njena pljuča so se odprla in zajokala je, odprla svoje velike modre oči in pogledala naokoli. Hitro si je opomogla in postala čudovito rožnata. Namestili smo se na kavč za crkljanje koža na kožo in dojenje. Moja druga podporna oseba in druga babica sta prispeli ravno ob njenem rojstvu. Rodila se je ob 12. uri, po zelo hitri drugi porodni dobi.
Tehtala je le drobnih 2,8 kg, a bila je popolna. Bil je viharen porod in nepozabno doživetje za vse. Uspelo nam je ujeti nekaj neverjetnih fotografij njenega prihoda v medenični vstavi, ki smo jih delili na družbenih omrežjih.
* Vsa stališča ali mnenja, izražena v tej zgodbi, so izključno avtorjeva in ne predstavljajo nujno mnenj urednic: Deirdre, Ans, Jenny. Projekt Advent Birth Story ne more zagotoviti, da je to sporočilo ali katera koli priloga brez virusov ali da ni bilo prestreženo in/ali spremenjeno. Hvala.
Porodna zgodba 17 – Čas se ustavi (Španija)
Občutek utrujenosti, izčrpanosti, strahu … a tudi evforije, zaljubljenosti, nežnosti …
Mešani občutki v tako edinstvenem trenutku mojega življenja, kot ženska, kot mama …
Edinstven, a za vedno nepozaben čas. 8. september 2016, 1.30 zjutraj.
Prvič skačeš v svet, vpiješ, jokaš kot topla dobrodošlica. Tvoje oči, polne življenja, se povežejo z mojimi.
Prvič nas pogledaš z intenzivnim pogledom, polnim nedolžnosti, a tudi radovednosti. Prideš na moje prsi in še naprej strmiš v moje oči. Imaš velike in zelo odprte oči.
Počutim se kot najsrečnejša oseba na svetu. Gre le za nekaj trenutkov, a so tako intenzivni. Kot da bi se vse, prav vse, nenadoma ustavilo.
Nervoza je izginila, strah in utrujenost sta izpuhtela, zdaj so tu evforija, ljubezen in nežnost.
Ženske, ki so postale mame, pravijo, da se občutek ljubezni do sina ne more primerjati z ničemer.
Resnično ne veš, kakšen je ta občutek, dokler ne postaneš mama.
Zdaj vem.
* Vsa stališča ali mnenja, izražena v tej zgodbi, so izključno avtorjeva in ne predstavljajo nujno mnenj urednic: Deirdre, Ans, Jenny. Projekt Advent Birth Story ne more zagotoviti, da je to sporočilo ali katera koli priloga brez virusov ali da ni bilo prestreženo in/ali spremenjeno. Hvala.
**** Porodna zgodba 18 – Slovenija, Hrvaška ob zori.
Ta porod mi je bil podarjen kot resnično navdihujoče presenečenje.
Neke deževne jesenske noči me je zbudil telefonski klic kolegice babice. Kot se rado zgodi, sta dve njeni ženski začeli rojevati hkrati in potrebovala je babico, ki bi vskočila. Tako sem se v spremstvu doule odpravila k neznani gospe. Ker ženske nisem dobro poznala in sem bila sveža diplomantka, sem imela sprva mešane občutke, ki pa jih je kmalu zamenjal neopisljiv notranji mir. Bila je ženska druga nosečnost in porod se je začel ponoči z rednimi popadki. Ker sva z doulo potrebovali precej časa z avtom do njenega doma, smo najprej komunicirali po telefonu. Ženska je bila nenavadno nemotena in mirna; celo zagotovila nam je, da bomo pri njej ravno ob pravem času.
Ko smo stopili skozi vrata njenega stanovanja, nas je sprejelo vzdušje pridušene svetlobe, pomirjujočih cvetličnih dišav ter prisrčen objem ženske in njenega partnerja. V sosednji sobi je v družinski postelji spal malček. Preverila sem dojenčkov srčni utrip in skupaj z doulo sva čim bolj tiho pripravili vse za porod. Zanimivo je, da nisem čutila nobenega nelagodja, ker ženske nisem poznala, in nisem imela potrebe, da bi kvarila vzdušje s preveč vprašanji. Želela sem le opazovati moč in rednost popadkov, zato sem sedla in spremljala porodnico. Stala je, hodila in se naslanjala na kuhinjsko mizo.
Vsakič, ko je prišel popadek, je začela plesati s svojim dojenčkom. Dlje kot je trajal in močnejši kot je bil popadek, bolj poglobljeno je plesala. Redkokdaj sem videla žensko, ki bi bila tako usklajena s svojim telesom. Njeni popadki so bili redni in so hitro postajali močnejši. Ko se je dojenčkova glava vrtela v medenici, je zibala z boki kot v stanju transa. Partner ji je sledil in podpiral njene gibe. Ženska je bila hkrati močna in nežna ter je izžarevala neizmerno samozavest. Ples je trajal približno uro in pol; medtem je malček spal. To so bili resnično sveti trenutki in počutila sem se privilegirano, da sem bila tam.
Nato se je izbočil plodovni mehur in počil, kar je žensko presenetilo. S partnerjem sva jo pomirila in rekla, da bo dojenček morda kmalu sledil. Čepela je, partner pa jo je podpiral od spredaj. Ko se je dojenčkova glava spuščala, je nagonsko položila roko na spolovilo in počasi pozdravila dojenčka. Bila je čudovita deklica, rojena s prvimi sončnimi žarki. Kmalu zatem se je zbudil njen brat in ni mogel skriti navdušenja. Posteljica je sledila naravno.
Dnevna svetloba nas je končno odprla za smeh in klepet ob skodelici čaja in sočnih mandarinah. Naslednji dan sem se vrnila, da bi bila priča še enemu prizoru dobrodošlice. Mama je ravno kuhala čaj, ko sem prišla. Deklica je gola ležala na maminih golih prsih, toplo zavita v maramo. Bila je rožnata in mirna, mleko pa je imela blizu.
Vendar me ni presenetilo, da so jo poimenovali »Zora«.
